You’re Worth More Than a One-Night Stand

"Failure won't define me because that's what my Father does."

This is just one of the many uplifting lines of worship I've heard in my life, from a song I've listened to a hundred times. For some reason, it sat with me more this past Tuesday, though I didn't know why when I sang it. 

I sat and listened intently to Kendall's message; I could and couldn't relate at the same time. It was a great message, but the moment when the Holy Spirit chose to talk to me was after Kendall finished preaching.  

"If you're struggling with shame around sexual immorality, I'm going to ask you to be bold and just stand up so someone can pray for you." 

When Kendall said this, I couldn't help but feel a deep connection to this particular moment. I stood. This admittance of shame. I looked back at my history through adolescence and thought, "Well, duh." Who wouldn't be ashamed to have a story like mine? I've had more than my fair share of sexual partners, started way too young, have been a victim to encounters I didn't want, equated my worth to my body's sexual appeal, and have led others to give into the temptation of lust. I believed in my heart that I absolutely should be ashamed. I've thought like this through my entire walk of faith. Today, I have a significant other that I am pursuing purity with, but I am constantly ashamed of what my sexual history looks like compared to his. I'm frequently in a state of shock that anyone could look past mine. 

I always knew there was grace for my mistakes. I knew I had received (and continue to receive) forgiveness, yet I never really thought of myself as a new creation. I knew the Bible told me that in Christ, I am a new creation. And when I am new in Christ, I begin to look, think, and act more like Him. Unfortunately, I didn’t always cling to His truth, for I allowed the enemy to define me based on my past. I thought of myself as a girl who used to sleep around; I wasn’t viewing myself as a Child of God.

Kendall’s message revealed to me, though my past was affected by the enemy, Jesus washed my slate clean when He died on the cross for me.  It was by God’s love and mercy that He called me home and saved me from a lifetime of sinful death, destruction, and decay.

I am a new creation in Him.

As I stood there in the theater, with His presence and peace washing over me, I decided to walk toward another girl in our community who was also standing. Honestly, I really didn't want anyone to ask me how I felt. I tried to keep it to myself like always. But as I walked over to this girl, I could hear her cries. My heart hurt for her so much; I just wanted to hold her and tell her how worthy she was and has infinite value in Jesus. In the middle of this thought, God reached out to me. This girl was me. I have been this poor, sweet girl. I knew she didn't deserve the shame and hurt she felt; I wanted her to get past this hurt and shame and find the freedom that only Jesus can provide. But I was reminded, I deserve that freedom, too. I'm not an exception to the rule, regardless of how much the enemy may try to convince me that I am. I would NEVER want this girl to feel shame years after these encounters; she deserves to get past it. I knew I needed to stop thinking of myself in a different light. And I knew this was the heart God had for us both.

I held this girl and prayed for her. We cried together. In that moment, God revealed to me that my prayer was not only speaking to her, but to me.  It was a beautiful act of surrender, taking all the shame that was placed on this girl and on me, along with the shame we placed on ourselves, and placing it at the foot of the cross.

I originally had this blog post finished about a week ago, but I scrapped it after this incredible encounter. The truth I received Tuesday night was too valuable for me to not share. There are a few pieces from the first blog I want to share, as well.

I read a long time ago, "If you're having sex before marriage, you're inviting the devil in for a threeway." As troubling of an image as that is, it's true. We invite the enemy in to destroy our lives, relationships, and self-worth.  God doesn't tell us to save sex for marriage to take all the fun out of our lives. Rather, He advises us to wait until we are in covenantal relationship with another person in marriage, so that we may be protected from the pain and shame brought upon us by sex outside of God’s design. The same pain and shame that Kendall, the girl I prayed for, and I have experienced. The same pain and shame maybe you have experienced.  Although the process of healing and overcoming sexual baggage is a long and strenuous process, Jesus makes all things new.  I promise it’s worth it.  And I promise He is worth it.

Please take my advice and don’t hurt yourself like I have by experiencing sex outside of God’s design.  The enemy will lie to you and say that it’s okay and acceptable, that the person you’re having sex with is worth it, that you won’t get connected to the person because it’s just a one-night stand… etc. However, 1 Corinthians 6:18 says, "Flee from sexual immorality. Every other sin a person commits is outside the body, but the sexually immoral person sins against his own body.”

We live in a fallen place that is desperate and yearning for things, people, and acts to fulfill us and meet our needs, but sex outside of marriage will only leave you searching for more —finding less — and feeling exhausted in the process.

You are worth too much to sell yourself short based on the lies of the enemy, the culture, and the world.

You are worth more than a one-night stand.

You are never too dirty or too broken.

You are not damaged goods.

You are worthy of love.

You are worthy of being clean and whole again.

It is never too late for you to change and to let go of sexual immorality.  Even when you stumble, God is always there to walk through the struggle with you.

You just have to surrender it to Him.